All posts in LOLs

I want what Honey Boo Boo’s got: The joke’s on us.

For anyone who knows me, this will not come as much of a surprise, but I absolutely adore bad reality TV. If it were possible to be a connoisseur of trashy TV, I am pretty sure I would be it. I love it. I love watching, sneering, judging & laughing at people and feeling the warm glow of smug self righteousness at the stupid people that will sign a release form.

My favourite? Toddlers & Tiaras. It has all the trainwreck of stage mothers, overdone makeup, rednecks and sequins to get me excited. I don’t understand pageants. I don’t understand pageant Moms. But to watch them is a delight. They are generally miserable, vain and superficial and… well… I like to mock people to feel better about myself.

I first saw Honey Boo Boo (aka Alana), with her mother (“Mama”) June on Toddlers & Tiaras. I remember June, because I mocked her. I stereotyped her and judged her. I was outraged at the idea of giving her daughter a pep drink. And I remember Alana’s cuteness & OTT precociousness. As did most people. But, that was that – I watched it, I moved onto the next train wreck in the next episode, and continued my life.

Then, this month, I heard everyone talking about Honey Boo Boo. It rang a bell, so last Friday, I said to Martin “I need to find out what this Honey Boo Boo thing is all about”. We hit up YouTube and watched the first few minutes.

And that was that. We laughed our arses off and I decided right then & there that I needed a piece of this show. You know, because I am a Toddlers & Tiaras fan and have been known to yell at the TV during Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I needed this delicious trainwreck.

So I started watching.  They are all on YouTube… start with this and work your way through:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR2fQ334B5k&feature=relmfu

The first episode exceeded my expectations. As did the second, and the third. I found myself laughing in disbelief, condescension and outright disgust at what I was watching. And, when Martin pointed out the lifetime supply of toilet paper in the background – I was a goner. But then… something strange happened.

I kind of fell in love with these people.

I can actually pinpoint the moment it happened. The precise moment where the Thompson family felt like family, and someone made fun of them and I wanted to punch them in the face. There is a scene in Episode 4 with a smirky pedicurist (or whatever they are called) snarking with the camera about June and the girls’ feet.

Something shifted. What started out as a pretty transparent attempt by the TLC Producers to show up the family as idiotic, grotesque hicks dancing like monkeys for my amusement – in that moment, turned into much more. That pedicurist, with her condescending smirk about the ‘interesting’ family turned it all on its head and made HER look like the idiot.

It was quite startling.

There is actually substance to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo that I never, ever expected. And, despite all the power of Reality Show editors, farts & closeups of a fat woman eating (oh have Mercy!), it became pretty clear that this family… are… happy.

How many people do you know that are happy? I know I’m sure not. Looking past the superficial, that family – made up of a fat matriarch with a ‘forklift foot’, her de facto a short toothless man called “Sugar Bear”, a pregnant teen who gives birth to a baby with an ‘extra thumb’, and an obviously screaming untreated ADHD world-famous 6 year old daughter – not to mention the fact that Mama’s 4 girls are to 4 different Dads, they eat roadkill and go “shopping” at the dump (yes, for those who haven’t seen it yet… I know how that reads… and yes, it is funny writing it down) – they are living the life so many of us want and daren’t admit it.

Bear with me, because I am not saying I want to eat roadkill or eat sketti with butter & ketchup.

OK, I kinda want to try the sketti…

There is a sweetness and authentic love in this show that makes it impossible to continue laughing at them, and instead, you begin to laugh with them. They are just so… endearing. And funny.

Not in a condescending way. Not in a “oh look, they’re poor and fat and they’re ignorant” way.

In that truly envious way, where they remind you exactly of what is important, and see the wisdom underneath. “Sugar Bear” is devoted to his family, and doesn’t differentiate between his biological daughter and the others. Both parents create fun & happy memories for their children, spend quality time with their friends and play in the mud. Even when it is uncomfortable for Mama to do so, she gets out there, puts on a bathing suit and goes on a water slide in public. They eat food because it tastes good and is cheap so that they can support their youngest daughter’s expensive ‘hobby’.

And they laugh their arses off. They play stupid games like “Guess the Breath” and hang shit on each other in a way that only someone who truly loves you can. And when the teenage daughter’s baby was born with the extra thumb, they laughed at it, embraced it and moved on. The love in that family is just so obvious, that it just smacks you in the face. Watching that baby come into a family of people who truly were excited to see her join them was… surprisingly moving. Yeah, I cried. Shut up.

There’s been a lot of hate towards the family. The South Park episode was rather mean-spirited, and commentators are calling it ‘exploitative’ (like, somehow they are in need of our middle class/educated ‘protection from themselves’, because… you know… they’re so stoopid and muddy and fat!), or that it is mocking them & their ‘ignorance’. But, much like the pedicure girl who thought she was the clever one – maybe the joke is on us.

Because you know what? They are happy. And most of us are not.

The Kardashians are not happy. The Pageant Moms are not happy.

But Mama, Sugar Bears & their family? They are happy.

This is confronting to us, because they lack the “happiness” metrics: thin bodies, good looks, teeth (!), money, a house without a train running through the backyard, big screen TVs, marriage, romantic dinners and possessions… in fact, in most ways the Thompsons do pretty much everything that is opposite to what most people deem to be “successful” in life.

And yet, there they are. Right in front of us, mocking our value system: Laughing. Smiling. Happy with who they are. Charitable to those less fortunate. Having fun with ‘extreme couponing’. In love. Water slides! Raising women who are secure in their bodies. Supporting and loving their pregnant teenager, and celebrating the arrival of their granddaughter (at 32!) and showing love and acceptance to each other – no matter what. Even the gay uncle “Poodle”.

That’s pretty uncomfortable, isn’t it? To think that you might have it all wrong and that these people that you initially watched with the intention of feeling superior, actually did the opposite.

If you haven’t seen the show yet, do. It starts as a laugh and ends as a journey with people that, truthfully, I envy. And I am not ashamed to admit it.

I absolutely LOVE this.

Nancy Upton. Entrant of the American Apparel “Next Big Thing” Model competition… totally pwned them. Her pictures involved her, as a very beautiful US Size 12… cavorting with chocolate sauce, ranch dressing and a cherry pie.

This is quality, quality LOLs with a very fierce statement.

Good on you Nancy. I love it.

Haiku of the Day

holy fucking shit / wowee, holy fucking shit / i will go hide now.

:)

…and thus starts my point.

Last night, I was working late on a client’s social media campaign. Yes, I am single, but have never gotten all that serious about dating… and most of my experiences with dating sites has been… well… kind of shit. It started as a tongue-in-cheek comment about giving away an iPad to try and hustle up dates… and… *voila*. An idea.

Why not apply the same simple guerilla marketing principles to myself as a “product”, and see if I can prove that you can bypass traditional means of marketing/communication with a small time investment and a good idea. And thus far, it is proving right. Because all I invested, so far, is an hour on a blog post. Yes, it will cost me 2 iPads in the future (if this succeeds)… but… I see it as a small price to pay to a) make my point and b) maybe even meet someone.

Traditional means were failing. I don’t go out to clubs and pubs. Networking events are, by and large, filled with the same dull faces. I was attracting the wrong “customers”… I was investing my valuable time with strategies that weren’t converting. In business, you would look for creative alternatives. So why not do it for me too? I also needed to rebuild my blog audience, so it seemed to be a win-win experiment.

At the time of writing, I have had 500 Pageviews on that single post since posting it at lunchtime. I have had it retweeted by key influencers not only in Perth, but over East as well, and have had a massive spike in traffic.

And I don’t even have as many followers as I did 4 months ago… I deleted my 2000-follower account and started again from scratch. And yet… here we are.

One idea. One hour. One blog post. And I already have media attention, because I know who to approach.

Get people talking about it. The rest takes care of itself. Put simply:

  1. It’s not about how many followers you have.
  2. Creativity rules. Take risks.
  3. Have a thick skin.
  4. Don’t conform.
  5. HAVE FUN WITH IT.

I have under 400 followers on Twitter these days. I used to have a more popular account, but I decided to start again a few months ago. But, I know who to approach. I know who’s retweets will generate traffic. I know how to get media interest. These things are just good old-fashioned networking and marketing skills.

It also doesn’t really matter if you are ‘popular’ or not. In fact, being hated will often work wonders for a marketing campaign… because people are still talking about it. Yeah, I have my fair share of critics, and have (deliberately) made some enemies along the way… but there will always be those who are threatened by these strategies, because they are trying to profit from bad advice. They don’t take risks, they just do the safe stuff. And… good for them, I guess… and all I will say is… aw bless.

But in reality, all it takes is one person, one hour, and the right idea and it will work. Don’t listen to those that are selling you tickets to the middle of the road… because middle of the road means ordinary. And ordinary, in an era where we are saturated with messaging, white noise.

Will this work? Who knows. I would like to think it will! But the point is not so much that I need a man (I really don’t lol), but more the point that it is the fun ideas that make my job worth doing. I hope to keep you up to date with the progress and results… stats don’t lie. And if I get that “conversion”, well, looks like I have to go buy 2 iPads, doesn’t it. :)

 

Introduce me to my soulmate, win an iPad.

6 months ago, I ventured into online dating. Signed up for RSVP & the cesspool of sleaze, Oasis Active. Met some cool people that have ended up as friends (always the way), but for the most part am finding the whole thing ineffective.

A few months ago, a friend of mine had the idea to market himself via Facebook ads, which intrigued me… but a tongue-in-cheek comment on Twitter last night has led to me having a stellar idea.

I work with social media. I market online. Why use a dating site? Why not do something that drives real leads to me, that I control? And also pimp my own services as well? Seems win-win.

And, thus… my “find me a soulmate” competition was born.

Simple premise.

Tweet or share this article on Facebook.

The person who introduces me to “the one”, will get an iPad, or $500 cash (Added: $AUD).

The people who retweet/share on Facebook will go into the draw to win an iPad.

Clarification: Yes. If you introduce yourself and ask me out and I marry you… you get an iPad.

About Me


Age: 32.
Location: Perth, Western Australia.
Relationship status: Separated, divorce final in a month.
Height: 5’7″
Appearance: chubby but ok looking. “Hot” to some but I don’t believe it.
Education: lots, ongoing and crazy smart.
Geekiness: I can fix your computer, love my iPhone but not much of a gamer.
Music: My life. I play guitar & love recording.
Books: Love reading, but don’t get much time. Love Ben Elton and Nick Hornby. And Twilight can suck my arse.
Exercise: As much as possible, but not as much as I should!
Health: Lupus (managed).
Interests: Music, Neuroscience/Medicine (studying Biomed), design, funky things, pretty things, people watching.
Children: I have 3 children on weekends.
Politics: Left wing cynic, generally jaded.
Alcohol: I like a glass of wine or 2. No alcoholics please.
Smoking: sometimes, but rarely.
MBTI: INFP.
Astrology: Aries, Pisces rising. Venus in Pisces. I am a goat/sheep in Chinese Astrology.
Religion: “Culturally Roman Catholic”, but not religious. Philosophical.
Love Language: 6 – Words of Affirmation; 7 – Quality Time; 7 – Receiving Gifts; 3 – Acts of Service; 7 – Physical Touch;
Family: Estranged from most, including parents. Mother’s extended family still in my life. Love my sister.
What I am attracted to: over 5’10″. Not a bogan. Educated but not pretentious. Funny & relaxed, but ambitious. Professionals desirable. I like Meditteraneans and “exotic” men. err…?

Some background blog posts:

The Woo of Tealou

I Don’t Even Like Cosmopolitans

Added 17/7

It has been noted by a commenter on Gizmodo that I should also acknowledge the Android. Sure, why not. As to whether I’d date an Android fan, well…

I don’t even like Cosmopolitans.

I knew when I decided to leave the marriage, that it was going to be a challenge. Separation, especially after being married for all of your 20s – it’s a HUGE deal.

So I never thought it was going to be smooth sailing. I wasn’t able to fully articulate why I was miserable… but for the most part I am pretty sure what I want.

The thing that has rattled me the most about this whole process, is not what you’d think (and many people have assumed). What has surprised me is how I suddenly feel like I have been thrust into a much less yoga-toned, less horse-faced, bad parody of Sex and the City.

Except, rather than dating since my teens and going with the ebbs and flows… I am learning about a subculture that up until this point, seemed kind of… Codependent, clichéd and frankly… a little bit pathetic.

And yet here I am. Suddenly a walking cliché. Rebound relationship with a younger man. Drinking wine on my own. Publicly lamenting about how much easier it would be to go back. Drunk tweets. Emotional rollercoasters. Reading “He’s Just Not That Into You” and other self-help books. Because I am interested. And writing all about it on my blog. Like I said… a Carrie Bradshaw without the lisp and the tall dark and handsome fall-back with a large wang. And I wear practical shoes.

It’s a really vulnerable place. Especially when I assume that no one will find me attractive. Or accept my children. Or tolerate my neuroses, which are abundant. It’s bizarre.

I decided to try online dating. It’s absurd. And, given the last few weeks, I figured that rather thantry and be all secretive… I am going to share the adventure with you. Obviously within the realms of appropriateness and privacy, but still. It’s interesting, particularly with the baggage and whatnot.

So, every Friday morning I will post an update. First one tomorrow morning!