Mina: ” X Friend goes to basketball on Mondays, Girl Guides on Tuesdays, Netball on Wednesdays, dancing on Thursdays and gymnastics on Saturdays. Oh, and touch football on Saturdays”
Me: “Fark, when does the poor girl just get to be a kid?”
Mina: “On Tuesdays, before Girl Guides.”
Jason and I were sitting on the couch the other night, watching the wheelchair basketball at the Paralympics. One of our old schoolmates is in the Aussie team, has one prosthetic leg (that he had back then), and it led to a discussion about the… umm… cut off point … for what state the legs must be in to play wheelchair basketball at an elite level. The interesting thing was that this guy also kicked arse at "normal" basketball, because Jason used to play against him!
It then led to a game of speculating ‘who had what’ disability. Based on the muscular tone of the legs, or absence or legs, we speculated who was a "full" paraplegic, who was an amputee, etc. After a good… 5 minutes of this discussion, Jason then also lamented how he wishes that he could cut his left foot off. He has a neurological bone problem in his ankle that makes it extremely painful to walk for too long, and I have often sympathised with him and said that I would consent to him being amputated if it was ever ‘mangled by accident’… because then he would be classed as a "disability" rather than just a "fat fuck with a bad ankle". And we could sit and collect all that fat disability cash.
Anyway, our conversation descended into how to go about the removal of said foot without being charged. It was at that moment that I realised something. I turned to Jason and said:
"See, we have to be together forever, because there is noone else on this planet that would ever put up with either of us, talking shit about disabled people like that."
In that vein, we have actually decided to start podcasting. Sure, we might only have 3 people listening, but we think its going to be a fun step. The idea is to give some people some insight into the bullshit discussions that 2 weirdos like us have. I am thinking it will be no more than half an hour, once a month or so, in which we either:
- Publicly share our grievances with one another
- Allow me to get on one of my comical rants
- Talk shit about disabled people and other underprivileged and completely-undeserving-of-our-pisstaking members of society
- Make you realise the grumpy old man in a 29 year old body that I live with, and laugh at
- Answer questions from our listener(s).
- May even be an appearance or two from Mina, if she is so inclined.
We think it’ll be fun. Submit questions for the first one and as soon as we are settled in at the new house, we’ll do our first one. Should be a blast, I reckon.