All posts tagged day

Well, I do believe that is called a backlash…

by admin on March 15, 2010 in with No comments

I have had such an amazing response from my post yesterday about why I have decided to quit Facebook. So many people have emailed me and DMed me on Twitter voicing their support and similar concerns.

It has got me thinking a LOT about why I decided to end it. It seemed like a bit of a knee-jerk reaction at the time, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that Facebook is an addiction. It’s weird for me to admit that, because I honestly wouldn’t say that I use Facebook any more than your average desk-bound person. In fact, in many ways, I use it a lot less (don’t use those stupid applications like Farmville etc). So it’s weird that I would be saying that I feel “addicted” to Facebook.

It makes me wonder out loud how the brain responds to notifications, messages, likes etc… and whether there is some propensity in people to become addicted to an endorphin rush via a psychological reward system… and that withdrawal from that is something similar to an actual physical withdrawal.

It’s weird, because when I sat down today to start work, I checked Twitter. I checked email. I didn’t check Facebook. And it was all compete in 20 minutes. My typical day would generally be me checking email, checking Twitter, checking Facebook, getting lost in Facebook for half an hour, wondering what this-person-meant-by-this and why-they’ve-commented-on-her-status-but-not-mine and my-friends-obviously-all-hate-me… then checking email & Twitter again until it was 11am.

Today, I did some work, my phone rang. I spoke on the phone, found a pause and, like some sort of weird automatic nervous tick, opened Safari. Then realised that I didn’t have any Facebook. I have done this at least… 3 times today.

It’s at that point that I actually realised how many times a day I would log-in without even thinking about it. Not to mention the times I have been out and about somewhere and been on the iPhone app, or whatever.

If you had asked me a week ago how much I use Facebook, I would have said maybe once or twice a day, some days more, some days not at all, because that’s about the time I am active and reply. But the number of times I CHECK Facebook per day would be at least 8-10. Possibly even more. And I would honestly not have even realised I was doing it, because I stay logged in all the time.

I genuinely feel at a bit of a loss for myself because I am quite literally fitting in a work day and having spare time. I NEVER have spare time. I am studying full time, running a business and trying to be a parent for at least 5 minutes a day. Suddenly, I can fit it in.

I really had no idea how much of my day was taken up with Facebook till I quit cold turkey.

How about you? Be honest…

Why I deactivated my Facebook Account (and will probably delete it).

by admin on March 14, 2010 in with No comments

It’s hard to imagine a world without hyper-connectivity. It started with mobile phones, extended into social media and at the moment, the biggest trend is telling people where you are, what you are doing AT THIS VERY SECOND AND HERE’S A MAP OF THE RESTAURANT I AM EATING AT.

I attended a Conference where people were lauding Facebook and Twitter (and related services) as a revolution in the way we communicate. Whilst this is partially true, I think that not enough attention has been given to the potential pitfalls of evangelising it.

With all of the geeky tech things like FBConnect & APIs aside, which are very exciting and allow for many possibilities, what is the real personal cost of hyperconnectivity?

This is something I have been pondering for quite a while, so for anyone thinking it’s just one event and want to say “OMFG WHAT HAPPENED?”… relaaaax. It’s not about you. Or you. Or you.

And I am not talking about the headlines that drag social media in, like “MYSPACE MURDERS!”, “TWITTER BLAH BLAH”.

What are the real, actual effects on your day?

For me, because I work in front of a screen all day and often in a browser, Facebook is just a streaming timeline of everyone’s day. Mine included. But it’s become more pervasive than that and I believe that it has started to affect my psyche. It dominates my day, it is integrated into my thoughts. It sometimes even completely wastes my day. And sometimes, I will admit that it affects me negatively.

But you know? I hit a point where I realised that at least 95% of the people on my list never commented, never contacted me, never showed any interest. And I hadn’t actually met. And I share my innermost thoughts with them more often than anywhere else. It’s not real.

And for the people that I *had* met… it changed the dynamics, where non-comments resulted in me assuming I had been hidden, or made me second-guess friendships, or made me think to end them altogether.

It’s a bit of a destructive force in the life of someone, like me, who derives energy from other people… who lives their life very much (too much) to please others, to seek acknowledgement from others… to have this medium that allows it to become my fuel.

So now, I have decided to deactivate my account for 30 days, as an experiment, just to see what happens. I am still contactable on Twitter, Email, and good old fashioned telephone. But I am just interested to see what happens. Don’t assume I have deleted you, because I haven’t :)

It will be interesting to see who contacts, who emails, who calls… not just as a dramatic exit and “I’m taking my ball home”, but as a truly intellectually interesting exercise to see if a) I can live without it b) any of those relationships continue outside of it and c) whether others join me.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this, too… assuming, of course, anyone reads blogs anymore (seeing as I am not posting this on Facebook! ;))